Weigh In's
21 April - 13st 5llbs / 187llbs / 84.82kgs (Loss 1.25llbs) Zoo trip - 6 hours walking around / standing. Got a few good power walks in with the pushchair.
22 April - 13st 6llbs / 188llbs / 85.27kgs (Gain 1llb)
23 April - SAME
I think I am driving myself a little crazy over my final goal weight.
Here is my quandary - my ideal weight and my goal weight are different!
It may not sound like much but its causing me to doubt myself. I don't have a fixed 'end' in mind so I'm finding it hard to motivate myself and focus. I find that I have no reference point, I cant think, "I was this weight when I was 'x' and I want to get back there", because I have never had a steady adult weight.
I got out of school (16), lost some weight and was 135llbs / 9st 9llbs. Within 2 years (age 18) I was 12st 7llbs / 175llbs. 2 years later (2004) I was 15 stone / 210llbs. I did the Lighter Life diet and got down to 143llbs in 4 months but failed to start/complete the maintenance programme due to going on holiday. I put on a stone / 14llbs on holiday and thought it was the end of the world / I was a huge failure, DISASTER. This brings us to October 2011, 281.5llbs - nearly 10 stone / 140llbs UP from 2004 weight.
My whole adult life has been a uphill slide to morbid obesity and I feel a little lost.
When I weighed more, I could ignore it as it seemed like a distant dream, now, however, it's present in my head at all times.
My ideal weight is 147llbs. My goal weight is 161llbs (159/160 would make my BMI under 25). My Dukan True weight was so much over my ideal weight, I thought I would go somewhere in the middle as a comprimise. What adds to the uncertainty is that I dont want to set a final number because it really does depend how my body looks at my 'end' weight.
Its not that I feel fed up with the diet or feel like I've been on it for too long. But in all honesty, I was expecting / hoping to be finished with Cruise by the end of August 2012. And déjà vu - I have a holiday booked for the 8th September. My mind seems fixated on my last massive diet failure under similar circumstances and although I know things are different this time around, my mind is trying to undermine me. The yo-yo I am experiencing at the moment is adding to the stress, up / down / same / same. Thats why I made the comment about 'maybe my true weight is what it is for a reason'. I can understand this kind of thing happening if you are close to your goal weight but not when I still have so much to lose. In his book Dukan talks about the futility of setting your goal weight too low as it is unrealistic to expect to be able to sustain it long-term.
Help anyone! I could do with some wise words! I don't like making a mountain out of a molehill, and maybe thats what I'm doing, but, how can I push past it? Any ideas.........
Hope everyone else is having a good one xoxo
Dear Sonia. First of all: don't sell yourself short. You can go as far as you want. Failure is not an option this time. Your vacation will NOT be a reason for you to fail. Besides, even if you do gain weight on your vacation, nothing like an attack to get you back on track. You know this now.
ReplyDeleteAs for True vs Goal vs Ideal weight: go for it. You should go as far as you feel good. I think you won't feel happy until you are at least at what the BMI considers normal. It is a psychological thing I think. And after that you can go as much or as little as you want. I did find that for me the True Weight was the one where I found myself being able to maintain. But I definitely want to try and go for less.
DO NOT drive yourself crazy. You can do this!!! I think it is absurd to think you will never gain weight again. Everybody does. The important thing is to stop it on time. So you need to weigh yourself after the diet is over, and you need to never allow yourself to go up a size ever again. That is all.
Good luck. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
Thanks Fabiana, I know you are right! I'm letting myself get hung up on the little niggles, being overtired doesn't help, but no excuses, I need to stay positive. I'm feeling more positive today, vitamins are starting to kick in I think! Great advice for the future, I need to relax and not be so 'all/nothing' in my approach, I need to be flexible and know that gaining a few pounds isn't the end of the world, its what I do when it happens that matters. Thanks again for your support xoxo
DeleteSonia, I'm no Duakn expert, but the true weights he quotes seem to me to be on the high end. Perhaps to help people avoid having to be on the diet so long I don't know. Or maybe to allow time to 'consolidate' that weight (?)
ReplyDeleteWhat's present to me in you post is that you feel uncertain & frustrated. We've all been there. I've done this to myself many times too...using multiple different systems at the same time ie: Dukan true weight, ideal weight, goal weight, lean body mass. Keeping it simple may be the best approach for you in the next couple weeks. How about Step 1- reach Dukan true weight. Decide if you are satisfied or not. If not Step 2- move toward ideal weight and so forth? Just a thought.
The other thing that you might want to consider is less looking back. Sure you may have weighed less at "x" time, but since then you've aged, and become a mama. These things change our bodies and that's OK. I recall a pic I saw of myself at a friends wedding I was about 130#...she was a twig of a thing and I always felt like a huge whale around her. When I see that pic today I think dang...I looked GREAT! I was also only 21 y/o. So, just keeping the perspective is what I'm saying. You are doing SO amazing. You have accomplished great losses. Feelings change, facts don't. Uncertainty is a feeling, it'll pass. Lost weight is a fact....you did it :) just my two cents xoxo
*anna
oceannah
Thanks Anna, I always love and graeatly appreciate your two cents...... I do agree that the True weight is at the high end of the scale. I feel better having put my feelings out there, getting some great advice / support. Even if I seem like a maniac, I'm glad I got it off my chest, keeping everything in makes me stressed, and that was the purpose of my blog initially, to air my feelings!!!! So you all got it!!!! LOL :) Keeping it simple sounds like a great idea. xoxo
DeleteWhen Prawn decided with me that he was going to lose weight, he weighed 351 lbs and had, his entire life been obese. He had no idea as an adult male of his height and build, what he would look like thin, and had no idea what weight was reasonable or ideal for him.
ReplyDeleteHe has lost 105 lbs and is thinner than he was at 13 years old! Really unbelievable. I'm proud.
Now I'm a strong believer in goal setting and I think a normal BMI is a good goal to have if you really have no idea what you want to weigh when it's all over. It's not about the number right? It's about being healthy.
Dukan suggested to me that I turn over to consolidation at 176 lbs. This just wasn't an option. I wanted to weigh 160 lbs and once I got there, I realized I would be more comfortable at 155 lbs.
Prawn wants to lose another 50 lbs.
Set a goal but know that once you get there you can always make a new goal that is a little less if you don't feel comfortable yet.
Just go towards it, and good luck!
Thanks DD. You are an inspiration / add Prawn to the mix and its unbelieveable! But TRUE..... :) I agree BMI is definitely a good indicator. I just have to have the patience to take it one day/week at a time and not feel out of control because I can't predict months ahead!!!! Tough for me!!!! One goal at a time!!! Thanks for your support xoxo
DeleteI think you are putting too much pressure on yourself..in your situation, I would go ahead and assess on August 31st. Not a day sooner than then.
ReplyDeleteUntil that point, I'd just be operating in a BAU fashion, cruising along. Whatever the weight on August 31, that would be my checkpoint.
This obviously means you should expect some ups/downs/STS... and take it in stride, secure in the knowledge that come August 31, you will decide to continue cruise or head into Conso.
Keep your options open, yet don't drive yourself mad trying to sort everything out yesterday.
Hope this helps, sorry if I sound harsh.
A
Thanks for your input Archana, you dont sound harsh at all! I like / appreciate your honesty, its helpful....... I must learn that taking vitamins regularly for me is a necessity, when I don't, I slip onto an emotional rollercoaster, but then you already know this from the last melt-down I had! :) BAU it is!!! Hope you are well, true weight reached and Consolidating nicely xoxo
DeleteWell the good thing is that you can start to introduce fruit and some bread when you're on holiday, if you start consolidation. And even if you are not at your goal weight yet, don't let yourself think the holiday is going to ruin everything. You DEFO wont put 80+ lbs on!!! You've come so far and done amazing, even when you're having a really crappy time (like with your stomach pains) you pulled through and still continued to lose weight!! Keep it up, and maybe you need a little break (just dont go mental like I did lol!) Smile! :)
ReplyDeleteCHEESE :))) LOL.
DeleteThanks Shannon! Reality check heard loud and clear, thats what I get for concentrating on negatives too much. I really do enjoy this diet and even though I have cravings for other foods, I cant say that I really want to eat them. Weird I know!!! Maybe I have been on Dukan too long?!?!? LOL. ;) Thanks for the encouragement, it means alot.
And you - Great job getting back on track! xoxo
Sonia - you don't have to lose the weight all at once!!! I took two vacations where I knew I could not stick to Dukan Cruise - so I did consolidation. After I came back, I went back on Dukan Cruise. So in your case (vacation or not), why don't you do the best you can until the end of August and see where you are at. The real challenge will be the vacation: can you stick to a consolidation? Then assess whether you want to lose more for health reasons (or only aethetic reasons?). How difficult will it be to lose more? If you think you can do it - go for it! I think a BMI below 25 is a good goal.
ReplyDeleteThe real challenge will be consolidating the weight we reach. With a few days or weeks of attack/cruise we can always lose a few lbs more in the future!
Thanks Moonday. I know that you are right about losing it all at once, but, I really can't describe it, I am such an all or nothing gal, this is probably where my issues start in the first place. I want this phase of my life/Dukan to be done, so I can get on, draw a line under it all. I have spent TOO long worrying about weight, being depressed about weight, letting it control every aspect of my life, that, I'm just done with it!!!! This maybe the wrong attitiude but I'm not strong enough to do it any other way. Thankfully my holiday is 2 weeks in the UK, visiting my family in Cornwall, I will be staying in a self catering holiday home so I can keep things in check. I know consolidation is the real test, I'm trying to start planning now how I can change my eating habits for good, setting limits, making rules for myself now, so I have a clear view of where I will be then. xoxo
DeleteI agree with all the above. Get to your TRUE WEIGHT then see how you feel. Set a new goal if you want to lose more!!
ReplyDeleteI've fallen off the diet pretty seriously, twice now. Both times I gained back almost half of what I'd lost. It taught me a lot and now I know that I am doing this for me. Not for some event. Not to just look skinny, but to be healthy and feel good about myself. And it's starting to work. I'm starting to feel happier in my skin, people have noticed too and tell me.
Also reading Wheat Belly helped change my thinking :-)
Looking forward to reading about your journey!
ZG
Thanks for the advice ZG. One day at a time sounds like a plan, get to my True Weight first. I always try to plan too much, its the mother in me, having to be prepared for every situation, makes my controlling nature come to the fore! I'm definitely a MONICA!!! (Friends reference) LOL. I really need to work on it..... Happy & Healthy sounds good. I'm looking into Paleo / wheat belly for Consolidation/Stabilization. xo
DeleteI'm a Monica too :-)
DeleteI can relate since I just turned 18 years old and I weigh the same as you at 18. I feel very uncomfortable in my own skin and honestly, I dont believe I should be feeling like that at any point of my life.
ReplyDeleteI have read your blog and I can tell that you will certainly accomplish any goal you set your mind to. Also, you are so close to your goal weight! You have come such a far way and it is not only inspiring for me but I hope you are so proud of yourself. Not a lot of people have the determination to stick to this diet for as long as you have.
Thanks so much Sunny, that's sweet of you to say. I know I can do it, there's no other option! :). The only advice I would give is to make sure you learn from this experience, tackle every feeling and doubt you have, it's never just about the weight, what is behind it, find it and address it. I have to keep reminding myself that I control me, not food. I won't ever let myself get into the same position again, hindsight is a wonderful thing! xo
Delete